Rockies Rant

I remember going to Rockies games when my family moved back to Colorado after a few relocations thanks to dad’s duty to Uncle Sam whilst in the Air Force. I was nine when we returned back to my state of birth, and I feigned to be bored with the game at first, but it grew on me. I remember watching the Blake Street Bombers and singing Crazy Train every time Larry Walker came up to bat. Todd Helton was still around then too - although a leaner, beard-free version of the man he is today. Although my fanaticism died a bit throughout my adolescence, a resurgence of Rockies pride was awakened when Chris and I started to go watch games together while we were dating. We both then became on the verge of obsessed. I love the Rockies. Deeply. And that is what makes it so hard to see them struggle every season. Well, here we are again, nearing the end - and I'm pretty much done caring about this season .

I know, in the realm of baseball that the Rockies are one of the newbie teams, so I really have no right to whine about no world series championship; however, because I love the Rockies, I know how truly talented a team they are and have been in recent years. They are so much better than how they play - and that is what makes it so disheartening to watch them fall into a deeper and deeper slump, which they inevitably will attempt to climb out of when it's just too late. I don't know why we got rid of Ubaldo - that was a mistake and Dan O'Dowd is going to regret it severely in the future. I also don't know why we constantly leave runners in scoring position. If even half of the players we left on base actually made it home, we would have one of the highest run counts in the league. But, boys, hits mean notta if you can't turn them into runs.

It's just so frustrating to watch them play these days. The joy of it really gets sucked out when they play the way they have this season, when you know they're capable of so much more. There are far less talented teams (cough, the Giants, cough), who somehow get lucky and win games and even, yes, the World Series - even though they really don't have as much talent as the Rockies do. It feels like all odds are against the Colorado team sometimes.

And so, as another season winds down, I care less and less since I know in a couple of weeks the Rockies will be done until next April. Come April 2012, I will again put all my hope & energy into my Colorado team - let's just hope the result is finally different.

Silence

I apologize for the delay in posting. Life has been pretty hectic. Quick recap since…April…oy.

May - Nothing too epic to report (at least that I can think of). Just work. Work. More work. (I’m sure Chris would corroborate).

June – Chris and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary – and we did so in our old stomping grounds: NYC. It was, in a word, AMAZING.

I truly miss New York with all of my heart. I knew as soon as I stepped out of the bowels of Penn Station and into those lights that I was home again. Even though we hadn’t been back since two days after we got hitched, it felt like we had never left. Walking the streets of our old neighborhood felt so normal and right.

We also got to see many familiar faces – including my dearest Daniel and Drew who were both in our wedding, so to see them both made our trip even more special (especially since Drew was visiting at the same time from American Samoa). It really was the perfect trip, full of reminiscing, laughs, some tears, great food, and wonderful people. I can’t wait to visit again!

July – We spent another Fourth of July with my family this year, which was nice. Although, since it fell on a weekday, we had to leave early to get ready for work the next day and only got to watch fireworks we could see from I-25 as we drove back home.

July was also SUPER HOT and HUMID. NOT a typical Colorado summer at all. It made me a bit peeved since I thought I moved away from that…but, no.

At the end of July, we also welcomed a new little one to the family. That’s right – cat number 3. People probably think we’re crazy. My friend Holly was fostering this adorable 3-month old, long-hair, dilute tortie that was abandoned on the streets, and of course, my heart broke and, after some of me begging Chris, we took her in. In keeping with our gothic literature theme, we named her Annabel Lee.

Chris and I also decided to stay put where we are. We thought we were going to move to a new apartment, but after looking for 3 months and not finding what we wanted, and tempted by the idea of actually staying in one place for more than a year (which we both haven’t done in 8 years or so), we signed our lease for another year. Instead of paying a for all those costs that go into a new place, we got a new mattress and bed instead. I will trade a new place for a good night’s sleep any day.

August – That brings us up to this month, which is already half way through. This summer has FLOWN by. I think that once you’re not in school anymore, summers really don’t mean anything, and they kind of just pass you by before you can really stop and enjoy it.

A couple of weekends ago, I was lucky enough to escape the heat of the city and head to the mountains with my college girlfriends. It was lovely to spend some much needed time with just the girls and get away from the city for a couple of days. Before summer officially ends, Chris and I need a weekend in the mountains too. It’s so rejuvenating and makes me feel so blessed to live in such a beautiful state.

And here we are. All caught up. Now I just have to post more often so I don’t have to do this all the time. It’s like trying to catch up with an old friend you haven’t seen in years, and there really is SO MUCH that has happened, but you can’t really think of it all or even where to start.

So, old friend, I shall try to be better about keeping in touch (and about being more interesting).

Wish List

In case you didn’t know (which I’m sure most of you don’t), tomorrow is my 26^th birthday. I will officially be closer to 30 than 20. Scary.

Anyways, I thought I might provide a few last minute gift ideas in case you haven’t gotten me anything yet. Don’t worry – I will take belated gifts. I’m not that picky.

1. I’m getting really tired of loud neighbors, lack of a yard, lack of storage, lack of space, not having my own washer & dryer and all of the inconveniences of apartment living. So, I would really love a house. Nothing too fancy – I’m thinking 3 bedrooms, a good-sized yard and some character. Not a fixer-upper, please. I’m the one who had the tools before Chris and I got married if that gives you any indication of our remodeling skills.

2. This one won’t cost you any money (maybe) - just some ingenuity and creativity. I would love love love an outing with Johnny Depp - dinner or coffee or some other sort of get together. That would be awesome.

3. Before I have kids or a career I can’t escape from, I would really love to travel. A lot. Unfortunately, I don’t have those means right now. So, cruises, European tours, a Disney getaway, or really any trip to somewhere interesting would be gladly accepted (although overseas is preferred).

4. A unicorn. What girl doesn’t want a unicorn?!?

5. I hear the new VW Beetle is coming out soon, and I do love VW Beetles. That would be a wonderful gift.

Since this post doesn’t allow much time for procuring a gift in time for my big day, I would also gladly take money – cash or check is fine – to put towards the above items…or maybe towards rent, cat food, gas, electricity, water, internet, cable, food…man, growing up stinks. Sigh. Oh well, I can still dream.

What Dreams May Come

I've had some weird dreams the past couple of nights - and since I RARELY remember them in the first place, I thought I would recount a few here...

1) Johnny Depp in a Jail
I have had numerous Johnny Depp dreams throughout my life. The sad thing about this is, they are always super realistic. My subconscious knows that I could never be anything more than just random fan x to Johnny, so I always only have fan dreams - random encounters with Mr. Depp. We're never best friends, or related, or lovers, or anything cool like that. No. My subconscious is too realistic. In the most recent dream I went to tour an old jail (which is TOTALLY something I would do...and have done) and my mom was with me (which is TOTALLY something she probably would never want to do). And lo and behold, in our tour group is none other than Johnny Depp. I spend most of the tour talking to my mom about what I should do. I mean, it's Johnny Depp - I have been in the same room as him, and waved at him and he waved back - but words weren't exchanged. My mom, of course says I have to say something. So - whilst we are all sitting in some portion of this old jail, I happen to sit next to Johnny Depp and make my move. I say "Excuse me, Mr. Depp..." (yes, Mr. Depp. I'm SO polite like that). I go on to say all sorts of things about how wonderful and talented he is, and he is very obliging and polite and I think we took a picture together or something. Would I love for this to happen in real life??? OF COURSE I WOULD. But in a dream??? I can do anything in a dream and this is it?!?!? What's wrong with me?

2) Mrs. McGregor
I've been watching a documentary lately about Ewan McGregor and his friend Charlie Boorman embarking on a motorcycle journey from Scotland to Cape Town, South Africa called "The Long Way Down" (the sequel, I guess you could say, to "Long Way Round" where they travel east from London to NYC). Point being, I've been watching a lot of Ewan, so of course he ends up in my dream. Now, in this case, realism went out the window on many levels. First of all - apparently right before Chris and I got married in my dream, he cheated on my with someone else and so, we broke up. However, for some reason I had already changed my last name to Jones. Weird. Anyways - shortly thereafter, I meet Ewan McGregor (who in real life is happily married with 3 kids). In my dream, he is single and childless. So - we decide to get married. I don't know? Blame my subconscious. The rest of the dream was basically us just hanging out and discussing how to go about changing my name again. And whether I should go back to Taylor or go to McGregor or hyphenate it. I think I decided just to go with McGregor. Kristi McGregor. Meh. I prefer Jones. It was a pretty good dream - except for the Chris cheating on me thing. That wasn't cool at all. But dream-hanging out with Ewan and his Scottish accent was pretty brilliant.

3) Professor Hoppus
This kind of came out of no where. I haven't been thinking about or listening to Mark Hoppus at all lately, but he decided to make an appearance in my dream. I was taking some sort of class here in Denver - couldn't tell you what kind of class at all. But, Mark Hoppus was my professor. Not just a guy who looked like him - the Mark Hoppus. I don't think it was a music related class at all...who knows. BUT apparently I went up to talk to him after class about something - class related, I'm sure - and it came up that he came to Denver to teach this class all alone (without his wife) and was staying in some huge hotel room somewhere and had nothing to do. So, being the kind neighborly person I am, I invited him to come hang out with Chris and I, and we'd go to dinner and a show and it would be lots of fun. He was SO excited about it, and I assured him Chris would be so elated. I even recounted to Mr. Hoppus that Chris met him once and they took a picture together, but Chris no longer had the picture. He laughed and little and we left the building together and went to the apartment....and then I woke up.

Maybe it's best that I don't usually remember what goes on in my head while I sleep.

Just Watch It.

Remember that last post about Joaquin? Remember how I mentioned a little film he narrated called Earthlings? Well, well, well..

Guess WHAT? You can watch it for free online. So do it. Now. (Or when you have some time to spare.) It's educational and powerful and everyone should watch it. Including you. And now, you have no excuses :) Or you can just live in ignorance - which doesn't sound like a very smart, respectable option.

Watch the trailer below and/or just click on the link to the website and choose "watch feature film". You'll be glad you did. PROMISE.




Make the Connection. EARTHLINGS.com

Changing My Top 5

This is a very serious post. VERY serious.



I'm making an alteration to my top five list, which is kind of a big deal, since it's been the same for years and years. What top five list am I referring to? My top 5 celebrity crush list - very important stuff, folks.

Why five? I owe the creation of my own top five list to Friends:




And thus, my top five list was born. As aforementioned, it has been the same for quite some time now. In kind of particular order (the first one matters the most):

1. Johnny Depp (duh.)
2. Adrien Brody (he's more sexy than hot. i just love him and his huge nose.)
3. Christian Bale (he had me at "Newsies".)
4. Ewan McGregor (he's scottish AND he can sing! love.)
5. Jim Sturgess (he's the most recent addition. he got added after across the universe.)

But, my friends, it is time for some changes to my top five list. I have a potential new addition...but it's not a top 6 list, so someone will have to get booted and may the best man win. It's not a decision to be taken lightly.

My new addition is Joaquin Phoenix - for more than the shallow reason that he's pretty darn handsome. I have always thought he was a very good-looking guy - even in Gladiator in which his acting was so good I thought I would hate him in everything he was in thereafter. But, on the contrary, I have found his performances to be quite remarkable and he's a presence I am always happy to see on the big screen. So a) he's easy on the eyes and b) be's a good actor.

In addition, he's committed to his work. I mean, look at how the film he did with Casey Affleck, his bro-in-law, (I'm Still Here) had everyone all a twitter for over a year thinking he had actually gone insane. He gained tons of weight, grew a crow's nest on his head and a beard, and threw himself into this project, and this project only. Commitment, baby. And you can see this commitment in all of his films. Also, everyone thinks of him as this serious dude who does serious roles - but he's actually really funny, genuine, and kind-hearted. So, c) committed to his art and d) funny & genuine.

And lastly - he's a vegan. A passionate vegan. He refuses to wear costumes in his movies made of any animal product and is a PETA spokesperson. He also narrates a very powerful documentary about animal welfare called "Earthlings" and is always a proponent for change in the animal welfare arena. Seeing as my New Year's resolution for 2011 is veganism, I feel it fitting to have a vegan, who is truly doing so much to promote the ethical treatment of animals, on my top 5 list.

Here's one of the PETA PSAs Joaquin has lent his talents to...
(warning: this video gets pretty graphic)



So, Joaquin is now on the top 5. Unfortunately, this means someone else has to move down the ranks. Who will it be?

I have decided that the most recent addition is getting the boot: Jim Sturgess. Sorry, Jim. :( Maybe if you become a vegan you can get back on the list. Maybe.

This means I will be running into Jim Sturgess in the very near future, no doubt.

What Would Jesus Eat?

What Would Jesus Eat?


Yes! Believe it or not, you CAN be a Christian and a Vegan/Vegetarian!!! Click on the link above... this is pretty darn awesome. My extended family needs to keep up to date with this series. Maybe they would stop harassing me about not eating meat every time I see them if they opened up their minds an inch and read this.

Way to go - yet again - Peta2!

Try,Try Again

I guess it's not really a matter of if I succeeded or not. I got good grades. I did the work. It's just that it's not the right fit for me.

I'm moving on from my vet tech idea - since it was just an idea. Yes, I am passionate about animal welfare, but I didn't really know if I was passionate about venipuncture and physiology of the renal system and what the names of all the cranial nerves are. Turns out, I'm not so passionate about the latter.

I tried. I really, really did; but when it comes down to it, I am still a creative, artsy, humanities kind of girl. I can do science and math - but that doesn't mean I like doing it. It just sucks that I spent all that money on school - at least my parents can breathe a sigh of relief that they didn't have to spend a penny on this go-'round. Yet, had I not tried it, I wouldn't have known it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Honestly, I think a lot of why I dove into school was because I was so, so, SO unhappy and stressed out at my current job at the time and it seemed like an easy way out, a good excuse - and it was. When you tell your employer you're leaving to go back to school and pursue a new career, they really can't argue too much and bridges aren't burnt. However, "I am completely miserable and stressed here and it is completely ruining my personal and professional life, my love of theatre, and making me go insane" might have an adverse reaction. So, I went with school.

I just hate saying "I'm quitting". I am NOT a quitter. But, honestly, I'd rather be happy than have another degree in something I could really care less about. I may not know what path I am going to go down next, but for the first time since I graduated college, I have a stress-free job, no school to worry about, a calm, happy personal life, and I finally have the time and sanity to actually think about what I want out of life both professionally and personally. It's nice. I'm excited to enter into 2011 with a clean slate, a new outlook on life and a huge realm of possibilities in front of me.

I used to be so scared of not living up to others' expectations and not having a strong career plan figured out - but honestly, I really don't care anymore. I am still scared about the future, but as for the present, my life is pretty sweet. I have a wonderful husband, a loving family, a college degree, a good head on my shoulders, and I will figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life. Sorry mom and dad - I'm not going to be a doctor or a lawyer...or probably rich at all...but I will be happy and I will end up doing something that is perfect for ME - and that's who I need to make most happy, right?

I have some ideas in the works - some research to do and creative juices to get flowing again - but I think there's something pretty awesome that just might work out.

So, here's to another new chapter. This is what the 20 somethings are all about, right? Figuring out life? I'm always game for a new puzzle to solve.

Humane

As far as school goes, I have always been a very good, compliant, obedient student. I do the work, I read the chapters, I study for the test and I write the paper expected of me. For probably the first time - in a non-English, non-writing class - I have strayed a bit from the parameters in order to get my point across.

I am in an Animal Agriculture class and we were to write a paper based on an interview with someone involved in "animal production" (as it is called in the class -they also call murdering an animal for food "finishing" the animal). If we didn't want to do an interview, we could write about reproductive technology as applied to farm animals or some other aspect of animal production. I decided to write about Humane Certified Farms. I think technically it still fits into one of the alternative paper topics, but I might have been a tad bit influenced by my own opinions. Oh well. Why should I not say something when this whole semester of this class has been hard to stomach? Let's just say that the textbook supporting this cruelty is even appalling!

Anyways, here's my crazy vegetarian paper on Humane Certified Farms. And to all the meat-eaters out there, please take this to heart and think about what you are REALLY putting into your body.

I am approaching three years as a vegetarian and have been gradually making a change to a vegan diet and lifestyle; therefore, studying animal production this semester has been quite difficult for me. However, the material presented in this Animal Agriculture course has only reaffirmed my decision to lead a cruelty-free life. To align with both my own personal ideals and the course’s goals, I decided to research about humane animal production, as I personally encourage individuals who continue to eat meat, eggs and dairy to do so as humanely as possible. My research centers on the American Humane Association’s American Humane Certified Program which deals with the animal welfare of farm animals. This paper will outline a brief description of what the American Humane Certified Program is, what the program entails and my own opinions on this aspect of farm animal production.

The American Humane Association’s American Humane Certified Program has been in existence in some form ever since the development of the Association itself in 1877. The association and program began as a gathering of various, smaller humane organizations who came together to help improve the conditions and treatment for farm animals across the nation. Since then, the organization and the Humane Certified Program – which was officially created in 2000 - have continued to evolve and improve in order to best serve the farm animals of America that sustain our livelihoods, diets, comfort and economy.

The program as it stands today uses independent, third-party substantiation that producers voluntarily seeking humane certification or who currently have such certification are meeting or exceeding the scientifically based raising, handling and care standards of American Humane. These standards have been compiled from various sources, including veterinarians, animal science experts and values from the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The core values of the program stress that animals are: “free to live and grow in a humane environment under conditions and care that limit stress, free to enjoy a healthy life, benefiting from injury and disease prevention and rapid diagnoses and treatment, free to readily access fresh water and a diet that maintains full health and vigor, and free to express normal behaviors and live in an appropriate and comfortable environment that includes sufficient space, proper facilities, shelter, a resting area, and company of the animals' own kind”. Producers who pass the certification are allowed to use the American Humane Certified label on their products, which allows the consumer to choose a humanely raised, handled and cared for product, rather than the animals that are treated with less than the most base level of care and kindness.

Currently, the American Humane Certification program is protecting the welfare of more than 50 million farm animals and it is rapidly growing. The program operates via its True Humane Tracking structure. This is a three-tiered audit of producers which includes on-site audits (which may include up to 200 checkpoints per animal species), continuous updates and ongoing monitoring via online applications and web-based video feeds to provide 24/7 footage which also incorporates instant alerts should something go awry and action can be taken as soon as possible. The American Humane Certified producers cover quite a variety of animal products including beef, buffalo, chicken, dairy products, eggs, pork, veal and other producers who create products with materials derived from animals, such mayonnaise and pastries.

I fully support this program and the values and ideals it upholds; however, it is not only because I firmly believe that every living being, including farm animals should be treated with the utmost care, but I also think the program benefits the consumer and producer as well. It is apparent that the American consumer is becoming more and more concerned with their diet and where their food is sourced from, so why shouldn’t our meat, eggs and dairy be accountable to the highest of standards, and why shouldn’t Americans be allowed to choose the safest and highest-quality of meat, eggs and dairy? Just take a look at the number of Whole Foods’ popping up around the country or the documentaries and reports of what is really going into the animals we eat and the conditions they live in; Americans are leaning towards a more natural, organic product, free of the chemicals, waste and horrible treatment, or at least the opportunity to choose which type of meat or milk to buy. Yes, this usually comes at a higher cost to consumers, which is a con to humanely raised animal products, but if more producers adhere to these standards, it will become more mainstream, and thus the prices will eventually drop. Also, consumers who support American Humane Certified producers are supporting – for the most part – smaller, local, family-owned farms, not the giant corporations who mistreat more than just their product. The big corporations’ meat, eggs and milk may be cheaper at the supermarket, but at what cost?

The American Humane Certified program is also a smart choice for producers and retailers selling animal products, such as grocery stores and restaurants. There is a shift happening in what consumers want, so it would benefit producers and retailers to notice the importance of food choice to consumers and take part in this program either by becoming a certified producer or by selling humane certified products. I understand that all animal producers have to pass inspections, but are they meeting the highest possible standards or just good enough to pass? I think the American consumer deserves more than good enough, even though it may come at a higher financial cost for the producer, retailer or consumer. With the only con being money – which American Humane even provides education and ways to allow producers to become certified in the most economic way possible – I see this program as an extremely positive movement in animal production and hope that more and more producers seek certification and maybe one day even our government will adopt such standards to provide the best quality of life for both the American people and the farm animals that are an integral part of our lives.

References
"The Humane Touch." 2010. American Humane Association. 30 November 2010. http://thehumanetouch.org.

“American Humane Certified: Farm Animals” 2010. American Humane Association. 30 November 2010. http://www.americanhumane.org/protecting-animals/programs/farm-animals.

Obsessed

I have an obsessive personality. I know this. It's not something I am in denial about at all. In fact, I embrace it. Anyone who really knows me at all also knows how true this is. People would probably site Johnny Depp as my number one obsession. This is true. Very true. It is a bit much and perhaps a tad sad - but I am okay with that. I love Johnny Depp and the fact that I know way too much about him, see all of his movies on opening day, and once paid 100 dollars to attend a party I knew he would be at is just normal for me . It all comes with the territory of being obsessed. As they say, go big or go home.

Now Johnny Depp is a long-time obsession... (so is my love of Burton films, Gogol Bordello and interest in serial killers). I also have little spurts of obsessions as well - things I REALLY get into for a while, but the obsession usually dissipates a bit. Here are a couple recent obsessions...

Dexter.

I always get obsessed with TV shows. Some past TV obsessions include The Office, Gossip Girl and Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I still like all those shows and watch them, but at one point that would be ALL I watched. I worked all day long just to get home to watch that show. I bought the DVD for the next season as soon as I would finish the previous season. And now, it's Dexter.Lately I have only been able to think about getting home, studying right away, and then throwing on some Dexter. Chris and I also went as Dexter and a victim for Halloween this year. So obsessed. I just finished Season 4, and we don't have showtime (yet) to watch season 5. I'm sure I will cave and pay the extra 10 bucks a month just so I can stay up to date on Dexter Morgan and his dark passenger.

The Animals / PETA.

Yep. I have become one of THOSE people. I am starting the switch to veganism, I'm part of the PETA 2 street team, protesting, fostering a kitten and of course working on dedicating my career to animal welfare. I'm happy to debate the ethical treatment of animals and no longer think PETA is crazy anymore. Chris and I - along with some friends - were even featured in a blog on PETA 2 for our circus protesting efforts. I love the animals and want to see nothing but the best for them - and so I am just trying to do my part to see that that happens.




I'm sure another new obsession is just around the corner to add to the list. Although it is way to hard to be obsessed with something when work and school keep interfering. It sure would be helpful if I were obsessed with work and school instead...

The Rules of Vegas

Wow. It has been a while. I hate when I don't write a blog for forever. Fail.

So - I am going to write a blog that is a tad overdue (about a month or so), but I wanted to write it last month...just never got around to it what with school and work and yada yada yada.

Last month Chris and I decided to FINALLY take honeymoon of sorts - because 3 days driving across the country in a u-haul with 2 cats and staying in crappy hotels really doesn't allow for a relaxing and romantic experience. So after getting settled into a new place and new jobs, we decided to take a short, not-so-expensive trip to finally get away from everything and relax for a while.

We chose Las Vegas. We went there together a few years ago and decided it was time for a return trip. It was lovely. And based on our experiences last time we knew more about what to do (and not do), where to go, where to stay, etc. So, this trip by far surpassed the first. AND this one was much more needed. We stayed at Vdara - which was AMAZING. We even got a room upgrade, so our room ended up being bigger than our apartment. Fancy.

Anyways - the point of this blog is to address the "rules of Vegas" I have learned or think should be enforced based upon my couple of trips there...

1) NEVER wear flip-flops or heels in Vegas. You will definitely end up in a world of pain and visiting the Rite-Aid for some moleskin and spend the next day dangling your burning, aching feet in the pool and be reduced to hobbling EVERYWHERE.

2) DON'T bring your kids to Vegas!!!! I wouldn't think this would need to be said...but apparently it does, because I saw way too many kids there! It is NOT a family town people! What about gambling EVERYWHERE, sex EVERYWHERE, and booze EVERYWHERE = great place to take kids?!?!?! And you look like trash pushing your kid around in a stroller with a yard-long margarita.

3) AVOID Circus, Circus at ALL costs...I mean, really, just don't go further than the Wynn / Encore.

4) DO make comments under your breath about men who are CLEARLY with escorts for the evening...like "wow, it's so nice of him to bring his niece to Vegas".

5) DO make sure to relax by the pool with a far to expensive drink. It is so much more rewarding than spending all your time in a smoke-filled casino.

6) DO go to Stripburger. It's delicious, vegetarian friendly and not too expensive.

7) DON'T go to ANY club with a line - especially ones that are more than 20 people long. I have come to deduce that the longer the line, the more whore-tastic and tool-ish it is. Another gauge for an awful club: How many of the people are wearing Ed Hardy?

8) DO buy a ridiculously large drink, in the middle of the day, and walk around outside on the strip with it...because you can't do that anywhere else, really - so you better do it while you can!

9) DO play slot machines purely based on the name or theme...because you probably won't win anything anyways, so might as well enjoy the kitsch of it.

10) DO wear things you probably wouldn't back home - because no matter what, you still won't be the one standing out. EVER.